Archive for the ‘School Memories’ Category

KIDS AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP

March 1, 2012

KIDS AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP

My children always thought we were poor. I never gave them enough money. This fact was particularly obvious when we were in Kuala Lumpur, where their classmates were children of families whose father was in the oil rigs. The father would be away in the oil rig, making tons of money. The mother stayed behind in the city, often bored, so bored she would go into affairs with the houseboy or driver, and the children would be given all the extra money that was laying around in the house. So if the children were getting $30 a week, my children would be getting one-third of that. You couldn’t define poverty more than that!

When we were in Nagoya, we were really hard up. The UN rules stated that 25% of our salary should go to the home country. My husband was just divorced from his first wife. She left us with debts to pay for the very nice, but very expensive, things she bought for the house. That lasted almost twelve months into our marriage. To be fair, we were still using the curtains she bought, ten years later in our other posts. And with a big family, we needed to rent a large house that ate another 25% of his salary.

So, the children were given five clothes each, for the five days that they were in school. Then they had one special clothes for Sunday Church. Only the eldest, Robbie, got new clothes. He would hand down his clothes to his brother John and his sister, Gayle. There was always a ceremony during those days when he would give his clothes to John. Kwan, their nanny from Thailand would force John to say,

“Thank you, Robbie, for giving me your clothes.”

John would often rebel at saying this to Robbie. He would say to Kwan,

“But I don’t like to get his clothes. I want new ones for myself!”

Kwan would say gently, “But John, Robbie is so nice to you. He wants you to have his clothes. You should thank him for being so generous. Now say again after me, Thank you, Robbie, for giving me your clothes.”

Kwan would not give up until John would say these dreaded words. So, eventually, John would say them to Robbie, just to finish with whole ordeal and go play outside.

Eventually, the youngest girls got new clothes. After having two sets of children wear the same clothes, inevitably, the same clothes would be too worn down to be used again for the next set of children.

Anyway, you get the point. The children were poor, they felt poor.

ROBBIE

Since the children were in American schools, the PTA told us that the children should learn their keep at home. They should do chores for them to have pocket money. Robbie, at thirteen years old, worked as a Life Guard at the School. I remember that night at the school, watching a school play, when someone interrupted the show to ask if there was a doctor in the house. A child was found floating in the pool, and would someone help? I thought of Robbie, thank God, he wasn’t on duty when it happened. It was at 7 p.m., and he was off duty at 4 p.m. That’s how I remember that Robbie worked as a life guard, for his pocket money. He also washed peoples’ cars, but that didn’t last long because the families had houseboys and drivers who would do the job better.

GAYLE

Gayle called us one time at past eight o’clock. This was the same period that Robbie was working as a Life Guard.

“Mom, you’d better pick me up from —. I think I have dengue.” She was around eleven years old, and was working as a baby sitter.

“What?” I asked, surprised. “How do you know?”

“I had dengue while I was in the Philippines, and it is the same symptoms. Pick me up quick. I have told Mrs. ___, and they are coming home from their dinner date.”

It was no surprise to me that Gayle wound up as a medical doctor. Here she was, at eleven years old, giving herself a diagnosis for her symptoms.

Hubby and I picked her up, and we brought her to government hospitals. That was an eye opener, to see the state of government hospitals in Kuala Lumpur. The sick were sprawled in the emergency room, lying bloodied and unattended. I couldn’t take it. We called the private doctor, and we brought Gayle somewhere else, more decent.

That’s how I remembered that Gayle worked as a baby sitter after school when she was eleven years old. Gayle is two years younger than Robbie.

JOHN

John didn’t work for money until he was much older. Even during the time he worked for money, it wasn’t because he needed it. It was because he was not yet accepted into a university, and he was bored at home. So he decided to teach English. We were in Korea at that time. When John came home, I eagerly asked him,

“How was it?”

He quickly answered, “That was the longest HOUR of my life.!”

ABBIE AND JEAN

We had already paid ex-wife’s debts by the time the smallest two kids were grown up. The UN also had new salary rules that enabled us keep my husband’s salary in the country we were at. They also subsidized housing, which is always a big drain on any family’s budget. So, if Abby and Jean worked, it was because they wanted to have extra pocket money.

The two girls worked as Bus Monitors. This meant that they accompanied the school bus while the bus brought all the children home. They had to make sure the children behaved well in the bus, and they brought the children to their doors.

I didn’t think this was a big deal, until one time during a lull in our conversation, Jean broke the ice by saying,

“You think that we kids are such brats. Wait till you see the children these days. They are beyond your imagination.”

I asked Jean what made her say that, and she told me that it was difficult keeping peace inside a bus. That’s when I found out that her job as a Bus Monitor wasn’t as easy as one would think it was.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

But entrepreneurship isn’t just “doing a job”. It is creating something out of a situation.

My first experience with entrepreneurship was when I was twelve years old. I was studying in an all-girl school, and I noticed that students wanted to give roses to their favorite teachers or to their “crushes”. “Crushes” were aimed at someone you admired greatly or to students who exhibited some male characteristics, and it was a temporary substitute for having crushes on a boy, until the real McCoy came around.

One of our distant relatives lived in a big mansion at the corner of our block. She had a garden full of roses. I decided to buy the roses and sell them to the girls in my school. Pretty soon, I was doing this regularly, and I was able to put away, what seemed to me at that time, a big stash of money. The gardener was surprised when he found out after several months, that I was doing this for money. He thought I was just buttering up my teachers.

ROBBIE AND HIS “TAXI”

When we were in Nairobi, Kenya, the children were all teenagers by then. I allowed them to go out to a nightclub with their friends during the weekends. They would use my car and go out together and come home together.

I noted that, every Friday afternoon, after the children came home from school, Robbie would get a lot of phone calls. The calls lasted a few seconds. He would give numbers, like “6:20”, then put down the phone. Another call would come in, and he would say another number, “6:10”. And so on and so on. This was puzzling to me.

I later found out, several months later when I noticed that my car depreciated very quickly and had the suspensions broken very fast, that Robbie was using my car as a taxi. The numbers he shouted into the phone during those numerous calls, were the times when he would pick them up. The report was that he would even have 12 teenagers into the car at one time.

By the time I found out, it was time to sell the car, and we were leaving the country already.

NEW TIMES FOR THE GRANDCHILDREN

The children have long since left the “nest”. With my frugal ways, they were able to study in good American universities. They now live their own lives and run successful careers. They don’t keep in touch with us often, because their lives are very busy. Sometimes, I see the new and expensive toys and clothes they are buying their children on Facebook, things they strongly wanted to have while they were growing up but never enjoyed while they were “poor” in my house. I wonder, if I gave them everything they wanted while they were growing up, would they have worked as hard to reach where they are now?

When my sister complains about her sons who don’t have the “killer” drive that she herself had in order to become successful in her new country, the USA, I tell her gently,

“That’s because your children’s parents were richer than your parents.”

Yes, “Necessity is the mother of invention,”……… as my mother always used to tell me.

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HURRAH FOR THE GOLDEN GIRLS OF 1961

March 28, 2011

Hurray for the Golden Girls of 1961!

We met again after having lived separate lives spanning 50 years. We went from carefree, innocent children, to insecure, though attractive, teenagers. Then we married, had children. Some pursued careers, others became housewives, and still others combined both. Some had happy marriages, a few marriages failed. Those who had the courage (and money!) to leave their failed marriage, packed up and lead separate lives. Others stayed on, bearing each hurt as it was given. The children grew up, left the home. Some of our classmates died, some of their husbands died, and more painfully, some of the children of our classmates died.

A big number of our classmates left the Philippines to start lives in another country, another culture. Raising children in a different environment while trying to hold on to our old world values proved to be very difficult. But both parents and children survived the tumultuous game of tug of war.

The economic and political conditions had their effects on our lives. The children of hacienderos who led comfortable lives suddenly saw their fortunes collapse with Martial Law.
Children of businessmen also suffered as their finances hit rock bottom when their parents died without passing to them the reins of the business.

You can tell from the faces those who had good lives and those who had bad. You could feel their hands if they were calloused from hard work, or if these hands never touched a rag in their lives.

But we survived. We didn’t have a single case of suicide among our classmates. We didn’t have a case of spouse brutality, or worse, death at the hands of a spouse. Hurrah for the Golden Girls of HS ’61!

The prettier girls married successful men, and they came with their expensive cars to our lunches.

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ELEMENTARY AND HIGH SCHOOL MEMORIES

March 4, 2011

This March, we celebrate our Golden Jubilee, fifty years from graduation from St. Joseph’s College. St. Joseph’s College is located in the former España Extension, Quezon City. There were many schools I would have gone to, but my mother chose St. Joseph’s because her first cousins, Sister Mansueta and Sister Caritas were there. It was an exclusive school for girls. It held its own against the prime exclusive schools in the area — Maryknoll, St. Theresa’s College, St. Paul’s College and St. Mary’s College.

DUTCH NUNS IN ST. JOSEPH’S COLLEGE

I was in St. Joseph’s College from Kindergarten to Fourth Year High School, from 1951 to 1961. Like many exclusive girls’ schools, St. Joseph’s College had its share of foreign nuns running the school. St. Joseph’s College had Dutch nuns and a Dutch priest for its rector. St. Scholastica College had German nuns. St. Joseph’s College had Mother Magdala as the Provincial Head and Father Reiner van Glansbeek was the Rector. And because SJC was run by Dutch nuns, there was one year when her then Royal Highness, Princess Beatrix came to visit SJC. She wore this lovely hat with pink roses on it, and wore a matching pink billowy dress, as was the fashion during that time. Since then, she has become the Queen of Netherlands, and I always get mileage from people when I tell them that I had met the Queen Beatrix herself before she got married and before she became Queen.

EARLY YEARS IN ST. JOSEPH’S COLLEGE

I remember I was late in enrolling for the Kindergarten. I think my mother wanted to save money, so she enrolled me three months before class ended. This way, I could still pass the Kindergarten without her spending for the whole year tuition fee. Of course, I could already read and write, but that was not the point. I felt a bit out of place, because friendships had already jelled. I felt like an outsider. Parents never think of the social aspect of their children going to school. What mattered most to them was knowing the rudiments of education and passing the exams .

We lived in the South area, where we now still live. In the beginning, my brother and I used to take the school bus. I remember that one boy tried to kiss me while we were on the bus. (I remember his name, but dare not mention it.) At that point of the kiss, I thought of the movies I used to watch with my mother. I quickly thought of what Greta Garbo would do, in an instance like this. So I gave him a slap. We were in the movies, so to speak.

Later, when we were in Grades, the bus became very tedious to ride, because they were picking up so many students, so we had to be picked up at six o’clock in the morning. We found out about Mr. Paterno’s jeep. I remember Mr. Paterno was such a kind man. I remember he wore eyeglasses. He was very solicitous about our safety.

Then in High School, I became good friends with Alicia B. They were very rich. Her father was the one who constructed all the Housing Projects in Quezon City. They had a car that brought the children to and from school. We just lived a block away, so I finally ended up riding with them.

My father was a doctor at the V Luna General Hospital. He bought a car in 1948, but it was only for his own use. My mother used to walk to Kamuning where she took the De Dios Bus to the University of the East where she taught.

FAVORITE TEACHERS

Kindergarten. Who would not forget Sister Alarda? She was a Dutch nun, and she was in charge of the Kindergarten Department. She was fair skinned, wore eyeglasses, and seemed quick on her heels whenever there was someone needing to be separated from the rest.

There were other nuns later who handled Kindergarten. Some of them were very short, almost midgets. Of course, the short nuns should be assigned to the short people. They wouldn’t command respect from children who were taller than them, would they?

Elementary. I remember Miss Banta more than any other teacher. She seemed very prim and proper. She was very neat, and her pleats were ironed where they should be.

High School. I remember our Biology teacher, and one teacher (Chemistry teacher) who was very strict. She wanted to know who cheated. Maybe she should have asked, “Who didn’t cheat?” When I was a teacher myself, in college, I thought to myself, how could that Teacher have escaped noticing who was cheating and who was not? When you are sitting in front of the students, you can see very clearly what each one is doing. Why didn’t she just put a stop to it? Why should she ask, “Okay, who was cheating? I will give those who cheated a chance to confess.” Was she afraid of us?

In our class, there were just a few girls who were very serious about studying. Amarylis T. Jane Y. I should add more names, maybe, but if I speak for myself, the adolescent hormones within me made Chemistry subject an inconsequential subject matter.

At that time, so long as you did not have a grade of “7”, you would be considered an honor student. At the beginning of the year, there would be less people who would go up the stage because more people had grades with “7”. Toward the end of the year, the stage would almost be crowded with more students NOT having grades of “7”, so they would be in the honor roll. For myself, I only two times when I experienced having a grade of “7”—Religion and Pilipino. Miss De Guzman was aghast at my Tagalog. At home, I spoke Capampangan. In school, Tagalog was not allowed to be spoken on campus. The only persons one could speak Tagalog to were the maids, and our maids came from the Visayas.

INCIDENCES WITH TEACHERS

Father Glansbeek. I was very close to Father Glansbeek. He was the Dutch Rector of the St. Joseph’s. I would visit him every recess period and bombard him with my childish chatter. I remember that I was barely higher than his knees as he sat down for breakfast. I think these daily visits to Father Glansbeek improved my English. Later, people would never detect my regional accent. I also became very confident of myself. So much so, that when Father G was assigned to direct a stage play, I was foremost in his short list. I was nine (9) years old when I first appeared on stage. There were three-in-one-act plays, and I was one of the girls to be eaten by an Ogre. When I was ten years old, I took on a bigger role, that of Anne of Green Gables. That was the biggest role I had in my whole acting career. It was downhill from then.

When Miss Isabel Diaz and Miss Amador took over, they had to tolerate me because Father Glansbeek was still half-in-charge and I was his protege. But they didn’t like me. There were other girls who were more pretty . Annamarie G, for one. Sure, so-and-so was talented, and can do even male roles. But in the field of art, beauty is foremost. Looking back, I agree with Miss Amador. I would also take someone better looking than bespectacled Eloisa F. Specially when I would lose my voice the night of the General Rehearsal and throughout the whole presentation.

EMBARASSING INCIDENTS WITH TEACHERS

What was embarrassing about Father Glansbeek was when there was no Biology teacher, and he was asked to pitch in. The subject for those two days that he taught was Sexuality and the Reproductive System. It was so embarrassing to listen to a MAN talk about the female reproductive organs, and how fertilization occurs. Maybe Father G wasn’t as embarrassed as I was, but I felt foreign to him at that point.

HAPPY INCIDENTS

What more fun times than to go out on an outing with classmates? We did this two times. One was when our class sold the most number of tickets in the Play/Fundraising. We went to Baguio as a class. We stayed at the Patria Inn. That was my first time to experience sharing a room with twenty other girls in double deckers lined up one after another. It was fun eating cafeteria style. We visited the Franciscan house near the Mansion House where the nuns lived. The only bad thing was that some of us suffered from diahrrea at the end of the outing. But it was memorable.

The other outing that I remembered was when we were in High School. We also won the prize of having the highest sales of tickets. We went to Corregidor in the flashy new hydrofoil. I remember that Alicia’s mother decided to let me wear some nice clothes. They were white pants with a nice silk shirt with pastel prints. My parents were so busy with their careers, they never bought us more than they thought was what was needed. Alicia’s mother must have noticed that I only had one decent gray semi-denim pants with a checkered red-and-white blouse. But they didn’t let me keep the suit that I wore. After the outing, I dressed back to my denim pants and checkered blouse. Maybe they didn’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings. Alicia’s mother also gave me three pairs of shoes that she bought with me from Marikina. My mother, rest her soul, always bought me shoes that were one inch bigger than my feet. Because of the large shoes, I always tripped. I even used a crutch to help me walk with my sprain.

STARTING A BUSINESS WHILE IN SCHOOL

My Grand-aunt lived at the corner close to our house. She had a big house that raised roses in her garden. While we were in high school, there were school “crushes”, where, instead of boys, the objects of affection would be girls who exhibited a bit of masculinity. I decided to buy roses from my grand-aunt’s house, then sell them to classmates who wanted to give roses, either to teachers or to their “crushes”. It clicked right away. Soon I was buying roses every day before going to school, and selling them at school. I made 300% profit. This venture must have laid the basis of my business acumen—to see where there is a need, and to fill the need.

VALUES LEARNED AT SJC

I used to think that my case is a special case. Being on stage almost all the years that I was in St. Joseph’s gave me a lot of self confidence. From my experiences with the theater in St. Joseph’s, I learned how to do my own stage presentations. I produced and managed cultural shows where I lived –in Kenya, South Korea and South Africa.

RELIGION AS AN EVERYDAY SUBJECT

Religion was ingrained in me at St. Joseph’s. I memorized the prayers for the whole Mass and its songs. So, I supported the church in Malaysia where Catholics are a minority. I helped the Church handle the Catechism classes for the parishioners. I did the piano accompaniments for Masses in all the countries where I saw that they needed a pianist to plan the songs and execute them.

It would be hard to pinpoint exactly what values I learned from St. Joseph’s College. But these years in St. Joseph’s were my formative years. I am sure the values I hold even to this day were values I inculcated while at St. Joseph’s.

FRIENDS

The one who stands out when you ask about “best friend” would be Brenda B. Everyone wanted to have Brenda as their best friend. Brenda didn’t have a mean bone in her body. She always agreed with most of the opinions I wanted her to evaluate. Brenda was very studious. She was always ready with her school work. It was easy to become her close friend because she lived just a few blocks from my house.

The other good friends that I had, who are still close to me until now, are Lorina Z, Agnes T, Lina J, Conchita S, Amaryllis T, Cecilia P, and, of course, Alicia B. Lorina and Lina were my good friends from the start because they were with me from Kindergarten. We were always close in classroom, close in the line, because we shared one common trait – we were short. Agnes and Conchita didn’t enroll at St. Joseph until Grade 4 or thereabouts. Cecilia P was my “bosom friend” from Grade one until she shot up in height. We shared such innocent secrets. We both had such active imagination. Cecilia told me of her “imaginary friend,” Rosa, whom she would conjure at will. I tried to talk to Rosa, but she only appeared to Cecilia. On the other hand, Cecilia remembers that I told her that, when my own grandmother died (when I was Grade 2), she turned into a huge black butterfly and flew into the air. At that time, my father had access to PX goods, so I would bring chocolates – Milky Way, Sneakers and Butterfingers—to school, and Cecilia, Lina and I would happily bite into them.

I want to end this blog with the memory of those chocolate bars melting inside my mouth…..

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